Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Adoptees: What can an adoptive parent do to help their child with identity issues?

I guess moving to his country and instead of making them move to mine would be a starter. What u tink?Adoptees: What can an adoptive parent do to help their child with identity issues?
Just listen and don't offer your own 2 cents. Therapy is one way to get a third party objective point of view. There's also age appropriate books that might make understanding a little bit easier. I know there's adult adoptees support groups and I'm sure there is something similar for children. Every child needs to be able to feel like they can express their feelings without worrying about how others feel or whose feelings they hurt. As the adult, adoptive parent need to understand the feeling of something missing is a real thing and should they should be supportive in their child's quest for seeking the truth (that is assuming the child is old enough to ';handle'; the truth and whether or not knowing the truth right now (as opposed to being older with a little more perspective) would be detrimental to their well being.Adoptees: What can an adoptive parent do to help their child with identity issues?
So far, all of these suggestions are good. I would also suggest it be mandatory that all a p's read ';Twenty Five Things Adoptees Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew';. (in a perfect world, lol)





There are tips to help with exploring the child's heritage, in addition to many other very valuable things to help a child.





If this book would have been around when I was adopted (bse) my life would have been dramatically different. It's a great read for all a p's and adoptees.
Listen with an open mind and open heart and realize that the questions we might have don't have anything to do with you personally.





Research my heritage so you are equipped enough to answer the questions I ask you about it in an educated way.





Be open to any kind of feelings I might have about my identity, good or bad. Don't judge how I feel or take it personally.





Counseling might help in a lot of situations.
Let them explore their background. A lot of times adoptive parents know at least the nationality of the child they adopt, a lot of times that can help. Because if a child is free to explore their own nationality and be a part of that group of people, they feel much more connected to who they are.
Don't discourage them. Don't imply that they are selfish for wanting to confront the facts. Maybe even develop an honest interest in the heritage of your own child. Be supportive. Don't treat them as if they are being disrespectful toward you by trying to show respect to the blood that courses through their veins. Etc.
Be willing to pass along information, about heritage, culture, parental traits, something that the adoptee may be able to identify themselves in. Be a part in researching, and discovering things about their culture and history.
LISTEN TO THEM! Actually listen, hold them when it is overwhelming, talk about where they came from, initiate conversation and know when to give them a hug and call it a night.
Find their mother for them.

How would you ask your parent that you need a training bra?

I am ten years old and so is my cousin and she doen't know how to ask her mom to get her a training bra. What should she do? How would you ask your parent that you need a training bra?
Just ask her its not that hard. I started to wear them when I was 10 too. Just say mom Im going to need you to buy me some bras ';Im growing';How would you ask your parent that you need a training bra?
A friend of mine's daughter is very shy and any mention of boys, breasts...anything, would turn her face beet red with embarrassment %26amp; she would run from the room.





Since it was so embarrassing %26amp; hard for her to tell her mom that it was time to start shopping for a bra, she went into the kitchen, placed 2 grapefruits in her shirt and stood in front of her mom. They went shopping the next day.
...just ask. if you need one shell understand. everygirl is intitled to a bra even if she doesnt need one, just so she can be more comfortable.
... screw training bra


your parents would prolly know if you needed one.


just wait til you get boobs then go to victoria scecret or whatever and get something.
say mom all the girls at school are starting to wear bras...can i get one.


or simply say i wanna start wearing a bra
just ask...its nothing to be embarrassed about
be like Mom buy me a bra for pete's sake:]


lol


being straightforward is best

How much involvement should a parent have with his child's entry into/start of grad school?

It depend where the money is coming from. If your parents are financially supporting you through school, and/or are paying for your schooling, it would behoove you to let them be involved with decisions. I, on the other hand, have nothing to do with my parents, and would not allow them to have anything to do with my school decisions.





If you are somewhere in between, I would allow them to have a say, but not necessarily follow their recommendations. Do what you see as fit, because it is your life. Eventually they will have to let go and allow you to make your own decisions.





I guess it really depends on the situation.





I hope this helps!How much involvement should a parent have with his child's entry into/start of grad school?
by the time i got to grad school, i was no longer a child (i was 23).





i appreciated my parents' advice and suggestions, but the decision was mine alone (especially since i was paying for it).

How can you get a parent to not claim her 23 yr old child in taxes? She's a full-time student and worker?

My friend is a 23 year old full-time student/worker that has a money hungry mother. Her mother will do anything to get money back for taxes. She lives with her mother and her mother doesn't do anything for her financially. When she went to file her taxes this year (Jan 2008) she had to pay back a lot of taxes because her mother claimed her. What can she possibly do so her mother will not claim her?How can you get a parent to not claim her 23 yr old child in taxes? She's a full-time student and worker?
Your friend is probably unaware how much support her mother *does* provide. Her share of housing, utilities and food is probably MUCH more than she realizes.





Her mother is also probably unaware of how much the total support was for her daughter.





Both of them need to know the answer BEFORE they file. My dad and I would sit down and do the math each year --in September--because he was determined to claim my exemption. My job, partial scholarship and loans made it iffy. (I would be told exactly how much I had to put into savings!)





Tell your friend to get IRS pub 501 and do the support test worksheet on page 20. Either she supported herself or she didn't. IF she did support herself, she DOES get to claim herself.





As for last year's taxes, it's not an issue of who filed first, it's who did their taxes right. If she's eligible and can't efile because the Number was already used, then she needed to file by MAIL. The IRS will resolve the duplciate issue.How can you get a parent to not claim her 23 yr old child in taxes? She's a full-time student and worker?
Well, if she still lives at home, then mother deserves that exemption. Now if your friend pays rent to the mother, does her own wash, cleans the areas she uses, buys her own food and prepares it herself, then she should claim herself. If the furnace goes out does your friend offer to arrange for a repairman to look at it and after the repairs pay the bill? Don't think so! A 23 year old should be able to figure this out using common sense.
She could move out and pay more than half of her own expenses. While she is living with her parent, and is a full-time student under age 24, the IRS is going to assume she is a dependent.





If your friend can document that she paid for over half of her own support, she can claim herself. Otherwise, her mother claims her.
the law says that only the person who CAN claim the dependent MAY claim the dependent.





so if your mom legally can claim you oops i mean your friend, then there is nothing your friend can do.
Did she pay all her own support? If she did then she just files her own taxes. The IRS will see 2 returns with the same ss number and will investigate.
if your friend files her own taxes its illegal for her mother to claim her


on her taxes
  • dermalogica
  • What do you get a parent when they graduate college- getting their masters degree in?

    What do you get a parent when they get their masters? What do you do?What do you get a parent when they graduate college- getting their masters degree in?
    You should be as thoughtful as you can. It doesn't have to be expensive. At the very least a gorgeous card, either hand made or from the store. Maybe a gift card for somewhere the two of you could go out together or a homemade coupon for cooking a fabulous dinner for the parent and family.What do you get a parent when they graduate college- getting their masters degree in?
    You could put a picture of you and your mom/dad on their graduation day in their cap and gown in a nice frame. Make them a homemade card saying how proud of them you are. Since they probably encourage you all the time, it's your turn to encourage them back!
    I would get something specific to their job or their goals. Just something to help them on their way, as they either start their new job, or move up in position, or whatever they're going to be doing with their Masters.

    How many chromosomes does each parent donate to the next generation?

    How many chromosomes does each parent donate to the next generation?How many chromosomes does each parent donate to the next generation?
    Since humans have 46 chromosomes, and the parent organisms each give half of their chromosomes to their offspring, then each human parent would give 23 chromosomes.


    It varies for other organisms; basically, you take the number of chromosomes in a regular (diploid) cell and divide it by two.


    In sexually reproducing organisms, the 23 (for humans) chromosomes to be passed on the the next generation are held inside gametes, or sex cells. For males, this is the sperm cell, and for females, this is the egg cell. When the egg and sperm meet, the 23 chromosomes from each cell recombine to form a single cell with 46 chromosomes, which is called a gamete and divides many times to produce a baby.





    I hope that helps!!How many chromosomes does each parent donate to the next generation?
    Each parent donates the haploid number, which is 23, and that totals to 46 chromosomes in the child. The 23 chromosomes cannot be chosen they are completely random genes that get passed down and paired up for the new child.
    the haploid number , that means half of the parents chromosomes.
    23
    23

    At what age can a parent legally throw out a teenager in England?

    The question is in the title. If you can provide me with the exact law to back up your answer that would be great, but it is not necessary.At what age can a parent legally throw out a teenager in England?
    18





    In Scotland it is 16At what age can a parent legally throw out a teenager in England?
    plan on throwing your kid out? haha
    well 18 is when the child (or teenager) is classed as an adult, they have to pay tax and have to fend for themselves.
    I would assume at 18 years of age but you need to be aware that you have to give notice of eviction just like if it was a rental agreement.

    Why did you choose to be a stay at home parent or a working parent?

    Not a criticizing question, just more of a why you made the choice you did. All answers welcome, but I do ask that you don't criticize each other.Why did you choose to be a stay at home parent or a working parent?
    I'm a lucky stay at home mom of two beautiful children, a two year old boy and a seven week old girl. I made the choice to stay home with our children and my husband backed me on it completely. He would rather have one of us to be there than to have someone else raising them. I could work, we could use the extra money if we wanted to have extra things, but it's not necessary for us. My husband makes enough to pay the bills and buy our necessities and even have a couple bucks left over to save for a rainy day or special occasions.





    I know not everyone wants to stay home with their kids or has the choice to stay home. I completely understand needing to work to help support the family. Like another user said, isn't it ironic for stay at home moms to say that working moms miss out on so much when we as stay at home moms also miss little bits and pieces too with our daily chores at home :)





    It's all in what is the best for your family. Working or not, moms are moms and we love our kids.Why did you choose to be a stay at home parent or a working parent?
    I went a bit farther on the stay at home mom category. I wanted to be a stay-at-home homeschool mom :)


    I have a college degree and could do much with that, but I found out near the end that what I enjoyed most was the teaching aspect. I would hate to teach other peoples kids - think about all the crap teachers put up with from kids who aren't disciplined at home...


    When I had my first, I wanted to do everything I could to be the best mother I could be. I love being a Mom - the hugs and trips to the park are special, and I have creative hobbies and computer games when I need 'me' time.


    Then I realized if I'm going to be home anyway, why not try homeschooling? It's not like we don't start off that way - kids need to know their letters before Kindergarten, why can't I just continue it and keep the kid away from the nastiness of school %26amp; give them a boost on learning? A trip to the zoo teaches better than the zoo coloring book in a closed classroom. America has a terrible public school system, made that way by undermined authority and lowering standards. I could teach my kids to LIKE learning. Our schools have lazy kids who spread the dislike of learning like a plague.


    I have noticed that homeschool kids mature much faster because they are put in adult social situations rather than childish social situations. It teaches them better how to act in the real world - unlike school, which can inadvertently teach petty childish behavior by mixing young peers too much.
    I never intended to be a sahm. I thought I would be a working mother like so many others. However, when I was about six months along, I was sitting at my mom's when I realized that I didn't want to leave my baby. I wanted to be the one taking care of her 24/7. My husband and I worked it out although there have been a lot of sacrifices along the way. I don't know what I'll do when my youngest goes to school, but I don't think I'm ever going back to work full time. I like the peace of mind knowing that I'm there whenever they need me. And I really don't feel up to the juggling act of daycare, sick kid, demanding boss. It's too hard. For me, it would have to be one or the other, either I work and not have children or I have children and don't have a job.
    I work for the same reason that my husband does - because we need the money to pay our bills, have food, clothing, a home, gasoline, heat, electricity, and enough money to do things that we enjoy that also cost money.





    We decided to work on opposite shifts so that we could spend as much time with the kids as possible. We also have a weekend family job, delivering inflatables to parties. The kids usually come along when we do that %26amp; earn their share of money, too. It helps them appreciate the time/work/effort value in every dollar that we/they spend.
    I'm a working mom.





    I had to make that choice because I have to provide clothing, food and a place to live for my son.





    I'm a single mom. I didn't want it to be that way, but my son's father fell into a nasty habit while I was pregnant and I chose not to have my son around those issues.





    My son's father is now ordered to pay child support. I've seen $125 in the past 2.5 months. He's already behind almost $5000. Let's just say he let his nasty habit turn him into an irresponsible person who doesn't even have time to see his son.





    So, since he's not helping to provide for his son, I have to be the main income for my household, which includes paying almost $800 a month for daycare.
    I was a single parent when my daughter was born I got custody of her and later adopted her. so I didn't have a choice but to work but I didn't work right away because I wanted to bond with her. (6mnths) and when I got her I just started dating my husband. he was fine with a kid but I wasn't ready to depend on him because it wasn't really his responsibilty. when we got married we talked about if I was going to stay home or not and we both agreed that's not who I am I work at a teen pregnancy center and I love it my daughter goes to day care during the summer I take that time off so we can all have time toghether. in the end it was both of our choice when we do have more babies I will take 6mnths off after having the baby.
    I choose to be a working mom because I dont want to give up the luxuries that my family and I have b/c there are two working parents. I also like contributing it makes me feel whole in a way. We wouldnt be able to afford to send my children to private school or good colleges in the future if I did not work. I also get free tuition to obtain my masters at my job and my husband gets to go to school for free as well. To me I wouldnt pass up that opportunity. In the end my kids will fully benefit from everything I am doing to better their future.
    I had to work when my first was born, we did a husband works int he daytime I work in the evening. I worked part time when my second was born while my husband worked full time, then I kicked him out and started working two jobs to support my family. Met my new husband and after having my 2nd in a daycare where she was sexually molested ( we took her out immediately and i quit working the same day) we decided that i would stay home and not let ANY daycare worker within inches of our children.
    when my children were young, I had a home daycare so I wouldn't have to leave them with other people. Instead, I took care of other people's kids who had to work. I made a good living (in addition to my husband's salary) AND I was home with my children. Now, my 3 grandkids live in my home (along with 2 of my daughters who bought the house with me) and I'm a nanny to another couple's kids. I would LOVE to be able to be home with my grandchildren more, but I'm single now and have to work- having a home daycare these days is SO expensive. I say, if you choose to work outside the home, be confident in your decision, find the best daycare/nanny/etc. and then go to work with a light heart. If you choose to be home with your kids, bless you, and don't let anyone make you feel as if you aren't doing the most important job on Earth. And if you HAVE to work, but would rather be home, make the best of it because it's the only way to be happy- spend as much time with your kids as possible, give them lots of opportunities for adventure and making good memories of the time you DO have together!
    I never finished college and got my degree. I have a job that pays more than most of the people I know with degrees and has awesome benefits. I have job security and I enjoy my job. That said, I've had this job for 9 years. When I took it, I never even knew if I would have children; I wasn't sure at that stage in my life. My oldest is 3 years old and my baby is 4 months old. Even though my children are my life, I choose to work. If I were to quit my job to stay at home with them and then HAVE to work in the future, I would never be able to find another job like I have now or make half the money I make. I want to be able to give them everything they need and more. I don't want to have to stress over money and bills. I love working. What if the unthinkable happened and my husband and I got a divorce?.... I would be working somewhere for minimum wage to support my boys... I don't think so.
    I have to work, otherwise there would be no food on the table, no gas for the cars, and no clothes on my children. My husband makes enough to pay the rent and utility bills, but I have to work so we can afford the other necessities in life. I also want my children to learn that things cost money and you have to work to get it. Luckily their grandparents are nearby to watch them so I don't have to worry about them while at work.
    Because to me it is the right thing to do. My husband and I agreed when we were dating that when kids came along, it's in everyone's best interest for me to be home. We don't agree with having other people raising the kids, as long as we can afford to have me home. From our personal observations, it seems kids are more stable, and tend to be better people overall with a parent home with them. So that was our reasoning, and we both still feel the same today.
    I have always been a working mom. Unfortunatley right now I am a stay at home mom because I hurt my back this last January. And then in June I found out I am pregnant. Over the last couple months I have been staying at home but working from home for my husband's business. I have to tell ya now that I am better and I know the baby is okay I am so ready to go back to work. Working is my GET AWAY. I look at it as my time, not to mention I get a pay check with my name on it :) I guess my real reason for working is because I have two degree's. I figure whats the since in spending all that money on college if I'm not gonna put it to good use.





    If your husband supports you and you guys can make it on just him working then thats great. Enjoy the time you have.
    I really wanted to go back to work after my son was born but only on weekends when my husband was off.. And i did for about 3 weekends in a row and just had to quit. I didn't think it would be that tough to leave my little man but it was. It was very stressful on his dad b/c sometimes the only answer is mommy. And my hubbie would call me at work and say';the baby is crying i don't know what to do i have tried everything'; And it made me so mad, like don't call me at work and tell me that what am i suppose to do? Just leave...so i decided we really didn't ';need'; my paycheck to survive, so i stay at home and take care of the baby and the house.I hate it when people( like my sis in law) asks me what i do all day.. I think being a stay at home mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world. I don't get a break and when he does take a nap- I have laundry , dishes, dinner, and other things to do. It's not like i sit around all day and eat icecream and watch movies...And now i regret even thinking about going back to work... The way i look at it noone can teach my child the fundamentals in life like i can... And thats why i love being a stay at home mom..
    I would love to be able to be a stay-at-home Mom but I have a great job and my income is quite a bit higher than my husband's. Luckily, I will have the opportunity to keep my job and work from home after the baby is born. I am a little worried about juggling all of that responsibility but I know that I am extremely fortunate to have this option.
    I work because I love what I do. I'm an engineer for a medical device company. I work full time because that's what I need to do to pay the bills. Even in a perfect world where money wasn't an issue, I can't see myself ever being a full-time stay at home mom. I love my son dearly, but I need more intellectual stimulation than putting together wooden puzzles and running around outside. My son does great in daycare - he is happy, and I can barely drag him out of there at the end of the day. I might feel differently if he was shy and didn't have friends.
    My Mom was a single parent and had to work. My sister and I were shuffled between babysitters, daycares, and family. We both hated it. Mom worked long hours and I felt like I never saw her. When it came my turn, I told my husband I'd be staying home. He was frustrated at first and scared about the money, but I made the check work. He's now an avid supporter of my choice. I've been at home 10 years and will be for 5 more, until all the kids are school aged. My sister also made the choice to stay home and loves it.
    I didn't choose, I have to work full time to support me and my daughter. Yeah, I know I chose to have sex and therefore I got myself into the situation, but it is what it is. I'd definitely love to be home more with my daughter than I can be now, but even if I could I'd work at least part time I think. Just to get out around other people, as I'm not sociable on my own and I'd go nuts being a full time SAHM, at least I think. I'm glad my daughter isn't home with me all of the time, she's gotten a lot of opportunities to do things with the sitter and her kids that she wouldn't have gotten to do if we were home all the time, and she gets to associate with a wide variety of people, both kids and adults. Hopefully she'll turn out to be not quite as shy as me! So far so good... lol.
    I was a SAHM for 3 years. My husband and i both felt it was best for our daughter and we dont have family members that were willing to babysit for free while i worked. The way/hours my husband and i worked would certainly not be accomidated by a daycare or any babysitter that i know of. When it came down to it i just couldnt stand the thought of leaving my baby with a stranger. We struggled for a while, but we made sacrifices and my job became accountant and budget master and we got by just fine. We managed vacations, concerts and even bought a new house all on ONE income. It IS possible, it CAN be done, and we DID it. However when my daughter was 3 i was ready to get out of the house and so was she! She needed to be around other children more and i needed to be around other adults more. We put her in a preschool and i got a job at a bank with great hours and decent pay...Since we can make it on one income my checks are extra. We are all much happier although my house is not as clean as it used to be, we love it! I may not have as much time with my daughter, but the time we do have is MUCH more valued and better used. I am 3 months pregnant with #2 and plan on staying home for the first year, but I will go back after that.
    I have been a stay at home mom for two years. I originally did not want someone else to raise my child. I had #2 and began going to school and their father and I arranged our schedules so they still did not need a sitter. I am going into hygiene so I can work part time and make decent money. I think it will give me a good balance between kids and work. I am now separated from their father and my boyfriend has daughter two months younger than mine, he had to put her into daycare and she is really smart! I am looking to put my children into daycare so they will be able to learn more and interact with other children. I am a very hands on mother, really into reading, learning activities, hardly any tv, and I am amazed at what daycare is able to teach!
    I am a SAHM and we decided it for two reasons


    1. I was not making enough money at my prior job to really justify working. I loved my job (teacher's assistant in the Special Ed department at a middle school) Had I stayed on the cost of day care, likely some formula for the first year, transportation, dry cleaning etc would have left us with just about 100 dollars after all those expenses.





    2. also my husband really wanted me to stay at home with our daughter. His mother went back to work two weeks after he was born and I think he really wished she had been at home more. She worked by choice. I think he would have felt differently if she had to work because of money concerns.





    As much as I loved my job, I really enjoy the one I have now.
    I am a stay at home mommy and very very lucky. I always said I would work if I had to or wanted to and at one point last year I wanted to and it was only part-time then I realized I didn't want to. My son is almost 2 and a 1/2 and I wanted to be the one around him when he learned so many new things. They are only young once and I want to be here for them.
    I had 6mths maternity leave...then changed it to 12mths because my daughter needed me too much and I couldn't bare to leave her (and being breastfed made it hard for her daddy to take over). When 12mths came near I quit my job instead. I didn't feel my husband would look after her properly, and he had no confidence and showed no desire to do so. Plus as even with him working full time we needed benefits to help us it seemed like 'why should I work and miss out on my daughter when we get the same money with me at home?'


    And the final consideration was that I wanted another baby so it seemed pointless to go back to work then be off again.





    BUT after my miscarriage in Dec and some problems with our benefit I DID go back to work, part time, and I have to say that it is sooo much better! I thought being a stay-at-home-mom would be brilliant but I find working gave me back a feeling of self (I would get depressed with bordem and 'burn out' at home) and made my husband HAVE to look after our daughter, which he suprised himself in doing well and he even said he wished he'd done more sooner! And of course the extra money, standing on our own feet and not needing benefits, is a huge bonus.


    Our relationship felt more balanced too.





    So I am happier to be working than not. And my daughter still gets loads of my time...and better quality time too.





    I'd say if staying at home or working works for your family, with everyone being happy, then that is just fine!
    I work because I have to, to help support our 5 person family. However, I would love to be able to be a stay-at-home mom. I think if you are fortunate enough to do that, good for you. That's a job in itself!! I can barely keep up with working and then trying to do all the cleaning, taking care of everyone in between. It's tiring! But I'd love to be able to really work with my children on certain key things like reading/writing/etiquette, etc.
    Mu husband and I chose for me to stay home and raise our children about 16 years ago (before they were even born!) and I have been doing it ever since. We chose this because of our very strong sense of family. We feell very strongly that our children are to be raised by us. God gave them to us to raise and enjoy. We feel it would be wrong of us if we sent them away all day and allowed someone else to get their time.


    This is why we chose to have me be a SAHM.
    We decided for me to stay at home because #1 we live in a big city and it frightened us to have to find someone we trusted to watch our kids #2 I didn't want to miss out on all of the milestones #3 My income would barely be enough to cover the cost of child care. So why miss out on so much to work just to cover the cost of child care. I am blessed everyday that I am able to stay home and watch my little girl grow up!
    I chose to be a stay at home parent because my husband and I talked about it before the baby was born and decided that we could afford it and it would not leave us trusting other people to take care of him properly. I do miss working outside the home, but I know I made the right decision and I love staying home with my little boy.
    As soon as my daughter was born I knew my place was at home with her. I did not want anyone else raising my children, and I could not bear the thought of putting her in a Daycare center. My husband agreed and has worked very hard to support our family so that I may stay home with our 2, soon to be 3, kids while they are young.
    I decided to stay at home because I feel it is my responsibility to raise my kids. I wanted to impart my values and be there for them when/if they need me. But I respect those that need/want to work. They have a tough job trying to balance work and family. I commend them for being able to do so! :)
    I chose to be a SAHM for 7 years to be there for my children though everything.Now, I'm going back to work part time (only while my kids are at school) and I can make my own schedule to fit time in for school activities/occasional lunches and volunteering. I'm going back mainly because I get a little bored when their gone and I like money. LOL
    I unfortunately have to go out to work full time so I can support my daughter and myself. I hate that I have to put her into childcare and miss her milestones, but it's the only thing I can do to afford things as I don't believe in sponging off the government.

    Can the accent of one parent affect the pronunciation of a child?

    Let's say that an Mexican is living in Spain with his Spanish wife, or French Canadian is living in France with her French husband, something like that.





    How much will the different accent of the minority parent affect the pronunciation of the child?Can the accent of one parent affect the pronunciation of a child?
    It does indeed depend on which parent spends more time with the child. Many years ago, one of my neighbors had a son. She's from Taiwan and has a very heavy accent. I'm not sure where her husband is from, but his accent is much lighter. She had already had a daughter who her husband had raised. This daughter speaks perfect, unaccented English.





    When her son was born though, she had left her job and spent time at home raising him. He developed a very heavy Chinese accent and was actually put in ESL when he started school even though English was the only language he spoke.





    A friend of mine also has a daughter whose native language is French (she and her husband are from France). Both parents work and their daughter is being watched by a Russian woman during the day. I hear all the time that she speaks French with a bizarre Russian accent!Can the accent of one parent affect the pronunciation of a child?
    yes, i have seen it happen, even if the child is one language speaker, can pick up the pronunciation like one parent. Teachers need to understand its not done on purpose, but can't be helped. I think for this reason some parents may stop speaking their native tongue to child in say an English speaking country. This might be done to stop confusion in school. Its hard when you are going up around two languages when your young for some.
    It won't affect them.


    I was born and raised in Canada to two West Indian parents.


    and I sound like a Canadian when I talk...the only time you may hear me talk with a slight West Indian accent is when I'm around my parents...when I'm not..all you hear is my Canadian accent.
    depends with whom the child spends most of their time with. Mom or dad?

    How much does it cost to take custody of another child if their parent is willing?

    Hi! I'm just curious, but my friend is planning to come live with me, and her mom is agreeing to it. But in order for her to go to school, my parents have to take some form of custody over her. How much would this cost? Just Curious. Please answer if you know :DHow much does it cost to take custody of another child if their parent is willing?
    When we did it, we didn't use a lawyer, which saved a lot of money. We researched the law library, and did the necessary paperwork ourselves, it was an ex-parte custody. Including the guardian ad litum fee, we spent about $500, and it took 18 months to complete.How much does it cost to take custody of another child if their parent is willing?
    The cost depends largely upon your state laws and what the attorney your folks use charges for his or her services. If your state's laws require a court to maintain continuing jurisdiction over a case establishing conservatorship or custody of a minor child, your costs will probably be somewhat less than if you have to file a new case. Since most attorneys charge $75-500 per hour, their fees vary greatly. Talk with friends or family who have used different attorneys and then visit with several to determine which ones you feel most comfortable with and which ones you can best afford.
    Just went thru that last summer,depending on what state you live in the cost may be different,but if you go to the court house and get the paper work it was free so,then when you turned the paper work in it cost 50 bucks!that was to file,then you wait and they will mail you your court date then you both go,and sign the papers and thats it! done !! good luck!thats it $50 one time!
    Hmmm.


    Well, I don't actually think it cost to get the kid.


    If the parent is willing to give the kid to your parent's custody.


    All they really spend is their time.


    The only thing your folks would have to pay for. . . I believe


    is his/her's needs. Like clothes; food; ect.
    I'm not a Lawyer, but thru my experiences with going to Court alot with my Ex, if the other Parent is willing it shouldn't cost anything, %26amp; if it does it should be next to nothing. Just a bit of paperwork.





    TIP: Keep the Lawyer's out of it if u can, %26amp; there should be no problem.
    Her parents could also sign over guardianship to your parents I believe this can be done with a notarized letter. Look into it.
    well i don't think its gunna be like, for the actual custody... more like lawyers and papers and stuff. but not a completely unreasonable amount
    It can be as simple as a parental powers power of attorney.
    Over 1000
    It's free in this country!
  • dermalogica
  • Is a grandparent eligible for the adoption tax credit if he claims the parent as a dependent?

    This past year I adopted a foster child. I have been going to school and living with my parents. My dad is claiming me as a dependent. Can he also qualify for the adoption tax credit because of our new son?Is a grandparent eligible for the adoption tax credit if he claims the parent as a dependent?
    idon't think so because he didn't adopt the child. you did. Did he pay for the adoption fees? however your dad can claim your child as a qualifying child. That way he gets the child tax credit and another 3400 exemption.

    How old do you have to be to buy a pet without a parent or gaurdian?

    Like can you go into a pet store and buy a pet like a hamster or mouse without a parent? As long as you have the money, do you need to show ID or anything?How old do you have to be to buy a pet without a parent or gaurdian?
    Normally yes but some stores will want to ring the parents to make sure.If this happens try another pet place.The wont all check up because a hamster or mouse aren't that exotic.


    A little tip...It'll look far more realistic if you buy proper stuff like a cage and food and bedding for it so it looks like your allowed and responsible and well planed.


    Hope i helped=]How old do you have to be to buy a pet without a parent or gaurdian?
    It depends on which state your in, in Massachusetts it's generally 18 but some stores wont even let you see pups unless your 21, weird huh?


    However if your getting something like mice or crickets as food for a pet at home, some pet supply stores don't question it really depends on the store policy as well.
    I think it depends on the store. If you were going to, call and ask, but you should NEVER EVER buy an animal from the pet store. Look in the classified section of your paper and see if there are any rodents that people sell or have. Call your local shelter and see if they have anything there.
    There's no definite age, I believe. However, I doubt the sales clerk would let a child buy a pet w/o a parent present. My guess would be around the age of 13 or 14 because even though they don't LOOK like an adult, they look more responsible than say...a 9 or a 10 year old..
    Not that I know of. As long as your not really young, not a teenager I'm sure you'd be fine. And also that you look like you're not going to harm it.(guys in hoodies with scarves covering a bit of their face, but that would be a bit uncommon in a petshop don't you think?!=]) Some might require a parent/ guardian there. I'd enquire first.
    I think you have to be 17 to legally own your pet. If you are younger it is in your parents name. No one cards sometimes you don't even have to sign out an adoption form or certificate.
    I think that you probabally have to be 18. cuz I went in a pet store once to buy a rabbit, and the guy said since im not with a parent, i have to be 18.
    with a hamster or a mouse, you should be able to go in and just buy one. But they aren't going to let a 10 year old or whatever buy one. so I'd say you should be atleast like 13-14.
    well the first time i got a pet by my self i was like 10 and my perents weren't with me it was just some friends and i but we got picked up like straight away after it but i wasnt in trouble!
    I think you have to have a credit card. When I got my hamster, I had a guardian sign these forms and give the credit card number.
    It not the matter of how old it the matter of do you have time to take care of it or if you are eligable enough
    you can buy a couple of fish at some pet stores for like 25 cents but they'll die like when you get home...... with out a parent or ID
    you dont need parental help but you should ask your parents lol. but no they will sell you a snake if you want. i bought a bird without my mom being there she dropped me off by the door
    About 2; you have to be able to talk, walk, and carry or chain the pet without losing it.
    when i bought my guinea pigs, i had to get my parents signature (and i was 15)
    They will sell it to you but you better have your parents permission.
    you have to be 18 to buy a pet without a parent or guardian
    at least 45 i belive

    Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?

    I live in a very dog friendly apartment complex. I make good money and i love animals. I ahve always volunteered and kennels and rescues trying to help the homeless dogs and cats. Do you think any rescue organization would let me be a foster home?Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?
    Possibly - it would all depend on an assessment fron the shwelter or breed rescue in question, and their evaluation of you as a foster carer. The best thing to do is to approach an establishment or two and ask about the process of becoming a foster parent.





    Breed rescues especially often require foster carers for all kinds of dogs; unlike shelters and humane associations, most don't have premesis and so rely on members and volunteers to care for any dogs who can't remain in their owners' home until a new home is found.Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?
    Best to go talk with the people at the rescue center, let them check you out according to your knowledge and ability. If they say ';Great'; go for it
    Yes!! I work for a rescue group and we are dire need of fosters. Please look at our website and see if you are interested...we have wonderful dogs who need transition homes. It's called ShihTzu and Furbaby rescue and the website is www.stfbr.com ...good luck and thanks so much for the interest!
    Each one has different criteria for fosterers. Check with the ones you've worked with and ask.
    Definitely.


    You sound like a great foster parent!
    Absolutely!! Rescues are always looking for foster familys!


    On petfinder.com when you click on a pic of a dog usually at the bottom is the rescue groups info and an application for fosters.


    Pam
    probably, only prob that you live in an apt
    ask some of those shelters you have volunteered for...and look for the no kill shelter they tend to need people to foster the animals..i think you would make a great temp home for a dog..they only want love and attention and it sounds like you have plenty to give
    Sounds like you would be a good candidate. Certain animals at our shelter are only fostered to people who are home all the time, but many are fostered by working people. Usually those who have injuries they are recovering from or illness when they are not ready to be adopted, but don;t need constant care.





    I know our rescue is always looking for good foster homes.





    Check out your local shelters. Most have application forms to fill out. Ours has orientation you have to do first as well as pass home visits etc. Why not put the wheels in motion.





    Good luck.

    Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?

    I live in a very dog friendly apartment complex. I make good money and i love animals. I ahve always volunteered and kennels and rescues trying to help the homeless dogs and cats. Do you think any rescue organization would let me be a foster home?Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?
    Possibly - it would all depend on an assessment fron the shwelter or breed rescue in question, and their evaluation of you as a foster carer. The best thing to do is to approach an establishment or two and ask about the process of becoming a foster parent.





    Breed rescues especially often require foster carers for all kinds of dogs; unlike shelters and humane associations, most don't have premesis and so rely on members and volunteers to care for any dogs who can't remain in their owners' home until a new home is found.Could I become a foster parent for shelter dogs?
    Best to go talk with the people at the rescue center, let them check you out according to your knowledge and ability. If they say ';Great'; go for it
    Yes!! I work for a rescue group and we are dire need of fosters. Please look at our website and see if you are interested...we have wonderful dogs who need transition homes. It's called ShihTzu and Furbaby rescue and the website is www.stfbr.com ...good luck and thanks so much for the interest!
    Each one has different criteria for fosterers. Check with the ones you've worked with and ask.
    Definitely.


    You sound like a great foster parent!
    Absolutely!! Rescues are always looking for foster familys!


    On petfinder.com when you click on a pic of a dog usually at the bottom is the rescue groups info and an application for fosters.


    Pam
    probably, only prob that you live in an apt
    ask some of those shelters you have volunteered for...and look for the no kill shelter they tend to need people to foster the animals..i think you would make a great temp home for a dog..they only want love and attention and it sounds like you have plenty to give
    Sounds like you would be a good candidate. Certain animals at our shelter are only fostered to people who are home all the time, but many are fostered by working people. Usually those who have injuries they are recovering from or illness when they are not ready to be adopted, but don;t need constant care.





    I know our rescue is always looking for good foster homes.





    Check out your local shelters. Most have application forms to fill out. Ours has orientation you have to do first as well as pass home visits etc. Why not put the wheels in motion.





    Good luck.

    Can a sixteen year old stay in a hotel room alone, if a parent makes the reservation?

    I just got my license in May, and I was planning on taking my boyfriend on a roadtrip for his birthday this December.


    Unfortunately, it looks you have to be eighteen to get a hotel room.


    So could a parent book a room for their kid?


    Or would the parent have to be there?Can a sixteen year old stay in a hotel room alone, if a parent makes the reservation?
    The parent would have to be there. And we make this EXTREMELY clear upon check-in.Can a sixteen year old stay in a hotel room alone, if a parent makes the reservation?
    It depends on the state like where i live it is possible.. But from reading what that woman said before me .... not all states.. or places allow that:)
    no

    How did having a gay parent affect your own identity?

    I have a gay dad. He came out when I was 12 and I am working on a personal essay (for teacher's college) for my ';Sociocultural Aspects of Schooling'; course. The assignment is to look at an event or issue in my life that has affected my own identity in-as-much as it will inevitably effect how I teach.





    So I'm looking for others who have a gay parent to see how it affected their life. How did it change how you see the world? How did it affect your relationships %26amp; friendships? How does it augment the filter through which you experience life?How did having a gay parent affect your own identity?
    In my situation my father never actually came 'out' and told us he was gay. I think I had a lot of resentment towards him and I still do. Putting aside that he was gay he decided that he didn't want to be actively involved in our lives. Deep down I think this may of been because he was gay. He made decisions that affected me greatly. In relationships I worry all the time that my partner is gay and I ask them time and time again if they are. Growing up it was difficult living in a small town, being made fun of, and it was the 80's where it wasn't OK to be gay. I think kids today may have a easier time because I feel like society is accepting people who are gay.


    It is OK if you are gay but before you go and get married and have a family just come out so you don't ruin peoples lives. My poor mother loved my father dearly and he broke her heart more than you can possibly imagine!How did having a gay parent affect your own identity?
    I don't have a gay parent, but I just thought maybe you could say that it made you more open to controversial issues like sexuality of others or made you more closed, depending on your specific circumstance
    it made me gay
    He is guilty..........not me!
  • dermalogica
  • What are 3 steps a parent can do to prepare for emergencies?

    List 3 steps a parent can do to prepare for emergencies.What are 3 steps a parent can do to prepare for emergencies?
    what type of emergencies?





    stay calm


    keep your children calm


    know all the important numbers, doctors,poison control,etc.


    have first aid kit


    have emergency kit in the car that includes first aid, water, food, blankets, flares, flashlight, batteries.What are 3 steps a parent can do to prepare for emergencies?
    Keep emergency numbers easily accessable. (preferably with a cell phone near by too. ... These could include everything from the hospital %26amp; doctors to police, firemen, grandmas, etc ...)





    Learn basic first aid. CPR is nice. But you also need to know stuff like when to wrap a cut and keep it elevated above the heart to stop bleeding. It can also be useful if you know a few basic chemical reaction type things. - Like if your kids get covered in battery acid, do you know what to use to neutralize it?





    Also keep basic emergency preparation supplies handy. Fire extinguishers, matches, candles, flashlights, batteries, etc ... All should be easily accessible and in logical locations.
    Have a plan on where to meet


    Extra meds and foods if youre stuck at home


    Have back up people to get your kids if you can't get there
    smoke alarms


    ipecac


    good neighbors

    Is it wrong for a parent to expect financial help from grown up children?

    Am a single mom with very low income %26amp; my children are into relationships and are more focused to their own financial plans.Is it wrong for a parent to expect financial help from grown up children?
    No it is not wrong. But you should not depend on it. Parents need to plan properly for retirement and the future. Children are not a pension plan. They have their own lives and financial struggles. When you get something be thankful. Even if their spouses are loaded, parents are not the spouse responsibility. Make plans now for your future, give thanks that you have an income.Is it wrong for a parent to expect financial help from grown up children?
    I don't think the mother should EXPECT it exactly. The child doesn't have to help the parents financially. And you can't really say they owe you because they didn't ask to be born. I would say it's completely up to the child if he wants to help out. Unless this is some sort of a pay rent to live here kind of thing, then yeah, if they are of age then they should pay some sort of rent. But if they are living out of house, then they don't have to pay a dime. Personally, I would help out my mother with her bills and such, because in the end...she's my mother and has done so much for me over the years.





    So yes, if they live with you and are over 18 or 19, they should pay rent. If they don't live with you, then they don't have to pay unless they want to. Just explain to them your finaciall situation and since they are living with you, it is their home too. So money is needed to keep this household going. They should understand if they are of age and mature. If not, then you have some selfish children on your hands.
    You shouldn't expect it. If my parents were in a situation where they needed financial help %26amp; I could provide it, I would certainly do it without them asking. They would never expect my help though. You shouldn't expect that from your children any more than they should expect it from you when they are adults.
    NO NO NO. you are not wrong for this at all. my mom was and still is an amazing mom and I try to (not all the time) but i try to calculate her needs into my budget when I can. I personally feel it is obligated and owed but in the least, its a common courtesy to the tenth degree. Maybe they're not being selfish,maybe it just never crossed their minds. kids soetimes have the tendency to see their parents as She-Ra %26amp; He-Man. Tell them mama needs help. I know its hard, thats how my mom is. but a closed mouth doesnt get fed mama
    I agree w/ the first answerer, but it also depends on your family values.


    I hope that you can talk to your kids and just honestly ask them if they plan on supporting you, or not.


    And, I hope that they say yes, but if they don't then I don't really know what to say.
    depends on the circumstances of the financial situation of the parents
    no, you raised them, supported their childhood, and changed their diapers. asking for some money is not wrong
    If you raised them right you would not have to expect it they would offer.
    You should not expect money from anyone ever.
    No, you supported them their whole life. That doesn't seem fair.
    Can't hurt to ask for help if they can't give it.
    tell them pay up or move out

    What do you do to ease the pain of being a part time parent?

    After the divorce, i thought the pain i felt every time i had to take the kids back home would eventually subside, however it hasnt. Its been over 5 years now and everytime i take them home, i find myself pulling over to cry. Thats every other week, im balling like a baby for 10 minutes for the last 5 years. Seeing them more often helps sometimes, but still the pain of seperation exists. Has anyone learned a way to cope with this feeling ?What do you do to ease the pain of being a part time parent?
    You're being strong %26amp; happy while the kids are still with you, right?





    Otherwise, I don't know if the ache at separation ever does go away. I know that it didn't for my husband, when he'd leave his daughter with mom at the end of his time with her. It got hard for me, too, as I came to know her %26amp; love her more.





    But, it's a pain that you learn to accept, especially if you know that spending time with both parents is the best thing for your children given the breakup of the romantic adult relationship you had with their other parent. It's not the ideal, but it's the best thing available in the reality you're living in with them.





    Keep busy in the days in between. Plan for when they're coming next. Make phone calls to them, if you can. Be active in their school, if you can. Do things that you can tell them all about, when you see them next. And, keep on knowing that you're doing what's best for them by being strong %26amp; sharing, civilly, with their other parent.What do you do to ease the pain of being a part time parent?
    i wish i had an ex that would come get his children and be upset when he had to bring them home. with that said, maybe you need to increase communication with them send them an instant message, text message, email, or call during the time that your away from them so that you still have that connectivity.
    remember that while part of you is in the kids, so is part of your ex. and let yourself cry. crying releases feel-good-hormones. remember that this is practice for letting them go our into the world, and remember that you love them. and they love you.
    What's important is that you stay in the life of your children. Do many activities when you are with them. After you take them back call and talk to them every night if possible.
    Sorry, my friend. It never gets better.

    How to avoid Taxes if parent is helping down payment for house?







    Currently, I'm not married yet, but our closing date on the house is coming soon. My dad is going to give us $30,000. At 1st he wanted to transfer it to my account and I would write a big check. But wouldn't this trigger an audit and taxes will be asset? To avoid this, could he just write it out to the title company?





    Thanks so much in advance as I'm in much need of help!How to avoid Taxes if parent is helping down payment for house?
    You and your Dad could declare it as a one time big gift. I'm unsure what current limits the IRS have set for one time gifts from a relative. Check out IRS's website or talk to your tax agent.How to avoid Taxes if parent is helping down payment for house?
    Have him give you a series of money orders and/or certified checks and/or cash for odd amounts that total $30K. Make them all under $8k. Don't deposit them all on the same day.





    My old boss had us do this all the time. He did pay taxes on everything, but he didn't want to trigger any inquiries.
    You are allowed to receive a ';gift'; as part of your down payment on a home. Each bank has different guidelines as to how much that gift can be.





    For all of your financing questions, go to www.dreamhomefinancing.com
    Have you considered putting less down to start? Then you can send in the rest as a principle reduction payment a little at time over the first 12-24 months.
    Anything over $10,000 has to be verified, so yes 30k would be checked into, and 3 installments of $9,999 could be as well,lol. As for avoiding taxes, depending on how your dad got it, like if its coming out of a IRA or just a normal bank account will depend on its taxation, if hes going to write you checks in various amounts you probably wouldnt get taxed on it, that would take a lot of check writing though.





    If you are getting a loan on your home, the lender must know the amount that has been given to you gifts are okay, they just need to know, or thats pretty illegal (fraud). They need to know that because if you are having to get help to purchase the home they want to be sure you can make payments on the home. If this will rock the boat to much you may need to have your parents on the loan and you as a coborrower for a little bit and then in a couple years refinance in your name. Your name can still be on the deed and everything but thats a pretty big gift and needs to be recorded correctly for everyones sake, its just not worth it, especially right now everyone is getting checked out (banks, appraisers, lenders, etc)





    congrats on the wedding and new home! hope it all works out. and im really wondering how you got this far without that money already being recorded somewhere or someone not asking??? you might need to be sure you are working with ethical brokers.

    How do you introduce a parent to a young child?

    The child was abandoned by this parent when the child was a young toddler. She has never asked about her missing parent and is fine, very well adjusted with her one parent and family. There has been no contact or support all these years. Now, the parent who has been absent has shown up and given rights, by the court, to meet the child....... How is the best to handle this and should it be a process? Where is a good public location for this meeting?How do you introduce a parent to a young child?
    My 16 year old just met her father after 15 years of him not being around. I would suggest that you consult with a child psychologist before introducing this child to someone they have never met. That seemed to help us through the process. They also have mediators that will come and supervisor the visits. You just have to request one through the courts.How do you introduce a parent to a young child?
    i would go somewhere like McDonald's or somewhere that has a playplace. maybe a park if its not too cold. i also would not tell the child that the person is her parent at first, that would really confuse her. just introduce them and let them get to know one another. then later you can tell her how they are related. throwing too much at her at once will just confuse and overwhelm her. i have a similar situation with my foster brothers who don't remember their biological mother, they think my mom is their mom. which for all other purposes, she is. anyhow, we just introduced their mother by her name and let them play together. it wasnt bad at all. hope that helped :)
    If it's warm where you are - the park. You don't want anywhere too noisy, or too busy.


    Or try the zoo.


    If it is cold, then try something that will entertain the child, so that the visit isn't strained.


    I hope it works out well for you - just act as though it is an old acquaintance - not one you're too fond of. And don't let him take the child off on his own - that might frighten her.


    Good luck. Hard as it is, this might turn out to be good. We all need love and if your ex has settled down, and matured, that will be good for your child.



    i don't know how to handle the process but mcdonalds is a good place for visitation.
    make sure to get an advice from a child psychiatrist before the first contact with the parent

    How do you find out if a will was made from a deceased parent?

    Are wills recorded, do you have to hire an attorney for search.


    Deceased parent re-married, spouse will not communicate with me about estate/will.How do you find out if a will was made from a deceased parent?
    Wills don't have to be filed with any agency until after the person is deceased. Wills have to be probated, which means submitted to the court, but this doesn't happen until after the person died.





    You can contact the probate clerk in the county where your parent lived, and ask if probate has been opened for him/her. If it has been opened, you can get copies of everything in the file for the costs of copying fees.





    You could also try calling lawyers in that area to see if they might have prepared the will for your deceased parent.





    If you think your deceased parent had a will, but the surviving spouse is not submitting it for probate, or if there is no will, you can file to have the estate probated as ';intestate';, which means without a will. If this happens, the court will order the assets divided according to intestate laws of that state. If there is a will, that's when the widow will have to produce the will.





    There may not be any assets that need to go to probate, however.





    Many married people own their assets as ';joint owners with rights of survivorship';. That means that when one owner dies, their interest in the property is divided among the surviving owners. So if parent and step-parent owned that way, the surviving spouse gets full ownership of the property. In addition, if there is a pension or life insurance payout, that goes to any designated beneficiaries without being part of the estate of the deceased.





    The only assets that might be able to be split could be personal momentos.





    Also, if it hasn't been very long since your parent passed away, the widow might not have had time to even think about probate.How do you find out if a will was made from a deceased parent?
    Wills are offered for probate in the local Superior Court after the death of the testator, and this hearing is where any person having a claim against the estate can appear and present their claim. What you can do is contact the clerk of the court, give them the name and date of death of your parent, and they can tell you if the will is scheduled for probate..


    Another good source would be the executor, unless of course that is your step parent. If that is the case, then the rule of law is that there is a presumption of undue influence over your parent,


    and what courts do is they negate any bequest to that person. If the whole estate went to the executor, I suspect that a court would be likely to invalidate the will and treat the case by law of


    intestate succession.


    What that means is that the estate would be divided according to specific rules contained in the probate code.
    You should contact an attorney since the spouse won't communicate with you. They can advise you of your rights under intestacy if there is no will. They can also assist you in forcing the spouse to probate the estate even if there is a will.
    go to your county court house and ask for the will on the person , that will tell you if there is one and if you are blood then take a id and birth certificate and you'' ll be able to see it , but warning the spouse has all rights unless marked in the will. its a shame there is nothing done about this for the deceded kids. my girlfriend lost here dad back in 2004 and he mothere died back in 1990 and he father remarried 3 mounths later and a year later came up with a brain tumor he finalyy past in 04 with his will being change evertime after 3 surgerys due to his new wife ( she was also a judges secertey) so she knew the moves to make. anyway after he lost eye site and memory after each surgery she had his will changed to he name and the kids got nothing form there child hood ( cause she told him to sell everything even the house they grew up in before she would marry him (sad) but unless noted in the will you wont get nothing but sadness ( i feel sorry for you) but go to the court house and look they will show you it. you alos can contest the will if u feel its not right. let me know what happens .
  • dermalogica
  • What makes a person transition from relatively sane young person into an overbearing parent?

    When you are a younger person, you know fully well that it's not okay to look another adult up and down disapprovingly and tell them that they need a haircut and to redecorate their house.





    Yet something happens at a certain age or with a certain experience that turns people into parents that drive their kids (and children-in-law) insane. What is it, and how can it be prevented?What makes a person transition from relatively sane young person into an overbearing parent?
    There is a natural conflict between teens and young adults' need to be independent and their parents desire to help and protect them. I sometimes catch myself making suggestions that my grown kids don't need or appreciate. Recently I pointed out that my son should get his hair cut and get some new clothes for a job interview. Did I need to tell him that at age 21? Of course not. But I forget sometimes. It's hard to stop being a mom.





    I try to prevent it by trying to see myself through their eyes. What would they want or need me to do in any given situation? It's usually pretty obvious when I look at it that way. What makes a person transition from relatively sane young person into an overbearing parent?
    Credit given in following text:





    Annual Review of Psychology


    Vol. 52: 197-221 (Volume publication date February 2001)


    (doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.197)





    PERSONALITY





    David C. Funder 颅





    Department of Psychology, University of California, Riverside, California, 92521; e-mail: Funder@citrus.ucr.edu








    鈻?Abstract Personality psychology is as active today as at any point in its history. The classic psychoanalytic and trait paradigms are active areas of research, the behaviorist paradigm has evolved into a new social-cognitive paradigm, and the humanistic paradigm is a basis of current work on cross-cultural psychology. Biology and evolutionary theory have also attained the status of new paradigms for personality. Three challenges for the next generation of research are to integrate these disparate approaches to personality (particularly the trait and social-cognitive paradigms), to remedy the imbalance in the person-situation-behavior triad by conceptualizing the basic properties of situations and behaviors, and to add to personality psychology's thin inventory of basic facts concerning the relations between personality and behavior.





    **************************************鈥?Now my interpretation:


    How they were raised, how you were raised...environmental, educational, genetics, ( LOL, being aggravated by their parents and then comes along their children) What goes around, comes around. Oh how I love to tell that to my kids when their kids are brats.
    A lot of times we encounter problems in many things during our lives and when we see our children doing the same we try to prevent them from the suffering by telling them what or how to do it. You will do it too if you love your grown kids and want to spear them the suffering. It is hard to stand by and see them with their regret.





    Anna del C.


    Author of ';The Elf and the Princess';


    and ';Trouble in the Elf City';
    i know...my biggest fear is turning into my mom ='(


    we are not very close and never have been. i want a better relationship w/ my kids. but sometimes, i catch myself doing things/reacting like my mother would....scary. ugh.





    to try to prevent it, i try to remember how i felt when my mom/ step-dad/ dad/ g-parents did certain things.
    Again its called child-birth and the only prevention is NOT to have children.
    it's called childbirth.
    They have offspring.
    Too many parents have trouble with the concept that their children are separate individuals who deserve respect, regardless of whether they're a year old or forty years old. Parents often treat children in a way they would never treat anyone else.





    It can be hard to get through to someone who thinks what you say doesn't matter, but some parents may be more willing than others to consider their grown child's input.





    My approach would be, I think, making it good and clear - maybe when the parent is on the phone and the conversation is ';just in general'; (rather than about the issue, itself) that nobody was to do anything at all in my house. If that didn't work I'd politely and directly discuss the issue and say something like, ';Mom, I appreciate that you're trying to help; but I'm someone (maybe like you were) who really wants to handle things in the house myself.';





    This may be the coward's the way out, but I'd do something similar with being criticized in general. I'd start with a general discussion about how I wasn't in the market for anyone's opinions. If that didn't work, I'd probably say something like, ';Mom, if I said that kind of thing to you would you like it?';





    (What makes it happen is children grow up, do their own thing, and are no longer under the control of parents when it comes to their rooms and clothes and hair. It can be the first time in their life that parents are faced with their sons or daughters doing something they'd do differently, and not all parents know that there's a point where you just go with what your son or daughter does (and that your opinion should only be given if asked).

    How much money should a parent give their kid for a gr8 grad?

    Just wondering cause my aunt is debating how much to give her son.How much money should a parent give their kid for a gr8 grad?
    Maybe start a savings account, put in $100 and he/she can add to it in the future. Let it be an incentive to put away cash.How much money should a parent give their kid for a gr8 grad?
    I got a new camera worth $70 and a new phone worth $80.





    I didn't get money but most of my friends got like 200 or so total from their entire family.





    I also got $50 from the school for getting an award.





    Where i come from 8th grade graduation is a big deal because we are in a pre-k thru 8 school. Most of us had been there for 9-10 years and leaving was a very big deal. Kind of like them sending us off to grow up the rest of the way.
    wow money for grade 8 grade??? lol they can't even fail you guys now a days, 1000? what a joke





    you are lucky to be educated at all, some countries girls are not even allowed to go to school





    I am sure they are forking out on cloths hair etc that should be enough
    my parents paid for a huge party.


    my grandma spent $500 on a name plate and matching earrings.


    my uncle spent $150 on a camera and $70 sneakers


    n everyone else gave me $50-$100 cash





    my family made my graduation sorta a huge deal. so did my friends. my one friend got like $3000 from her whole family
    I'm in seventh grade, but for my eighth grade graduation, my parents said they'll get me a laptop. =l But that's because I already use it a lot for homework, so High School's going to be more...





    But honestly, you should get paid for having an education.
    i got for grad of 8th garde a laptop, desk, songs of i-tunes, and a 25$ gift card to claires.


    but thats a lot for 8th grade grad, so i think like 50$ is good


    my friends got nothin though
    None. Graduating from 8th grade means nothing. They should be thankful to have an education.





    Graduating high school is a different story, but people don't deserve anything for graduating middle school.
    i got a 20$ purse. i honestly dont think graduating 8th grades that big of a deal, as its easy to get by with out learning or doing anything.
    That's basically bribery, he should be getting good grades anyway.
    I didn't get anything for graduating 8th grade.
    I got nothing for my gradutation.
    well for my grad ... (grade 9 where i live) my parents gave me a diamond ring lol i was like :O:O:O:O but i dont think that could help you .... i dno like uh ... $200?
    i got 100 dollars.





    seriously i hardly remember my grade 8 grad. its not like highschool
    I didn't get any :(
    None. He's only at the beginning.
    haven't got anything yet, mine's on tuesday =)
    say WHAT!?!





    I got zero, and I survived.
    nothing. Why reward a child for something he should be doing?
    i think that i got like 20 dollars.....its only 8th grade
    lol 200


    i got a ipod classic butttt thats just mee =]=]
    i got a new ipod nano..so maybe about 200 dolalrs?
    i would ask 4 a thousand

    How much would an NC parent's insurance go up for one son getting a motorcycle and a motorcycle license?

    If the price does not rise too much, I might get a motorcycle.





    Thank you.How much would an NC parent's insurance go up for one son getting a motorcycle and a motorcycle license?
    Around $1200.00 a year and up.......

    What are 25 things a parent needs to buy for a newborn?

    In health class, we're learning about teen pregnancy, and this a question that i need to answer=) please help.What are 25 things a parent needs to buy for a newborn?
    1 diapers


    2 bottles


    3 burp cloths


    4 receiving blankets


    5 car seat


    6 crib/bassinet


    7 blankets


    8 wet wipes


    9 onesies


    10 sleepers


    11 layettes


    12 socks


    13 sun screen


    14 baby lotion


    15 baby soap


    16 towles


    17 wash cloths


    18 bottle brush


    19 laundry soap


    20 diaper bag


    21 formula (if not breast feeding)


    22 bibs


    23 swing


    24 pacifier


    25 diaper rash cream


    26 baby tylenol


    27 Gas drops





    These are the 27 things that I can't go with out. Good Luck with your assignment Hope I helped.What are 25 things a parent needs to buy for a newborn?
    1.diapers


    2.diaper ointment


    3.lotion


    4.shampoo


    5.gas drops


    6.baby motrin


    7.onesies


    8.blankets


    9.sleepers


    10.bottles


    11.diaper pail/genie


    12.socks


    13.crib


    14.bassinet


    15.car seat


    16.stroller


    17.toys


    18.teethers


    19.soft hair brush


    20.pacifiers


    21.outfits


    22.hats


    23.bouncer/seat


    24.health insurance


    25.swing
    Crib


    Swing


    Changing Table


    Sheets


    Toys


    Clothes


    Diapers


    Bottles


    Socks


    Tylenol


    Gas Drops


    Wipes


    Lotion


    Baby Shampoo


    Towels


    Washcloths


    Car Seat


    Stroller


    Nail Clippers


    Thermometer


    Blankets


    Bassinet


    Pacifier


    Swaddler


    Soothing Sound Machine


    Bouncer


    Pack n Play


    Diaper Pail


    Bathtub


    Baby Detergent


    Baby Surface Cleaner


    Diaper Bag


    Formula if Bottle Fed


    Cover up if Breastfed


    2 Loving Parents


    Hope this helps


    Basically you need alot of stuff. Babies are expensive and they never stop needing and wanting things. Its a lifelong commitment.
    Diapers (disposable or cloth)


    Baby wipes


    crib or cosleeper


    car seat


    blankets


    stroller


    baby sling


    bed set for crib


    clothing


    onesies


    socks


    bibs


    burp cloths


    monitor


    baby swing


    bouncy seat


    bottles


    formula (if not breastfed)


    pacifiers


    breast pump (if breastfeeding)


    pack n play


    baby wash/lotion
    diapers


    wipes


    change pad


    diaper bag


    baby monitor


    wash cloths


    towels


    baby detergent


    thermometer


    baby tylenol


    blankets


    crib


    crib mattress


    fitted sheet for crib


    pacifier


    bottle


    nipples


    ?formula


    breast pump


    diaper rash cream


    sleepers


    onesies


    nail clippers


    shampoo


    body wash


    plastic baby tub


    swing


    car seat


    gripe water


    vitamin d


    nasal aspirator
    diapers


    shampoo/soaps


    bottles


    blankets


    clothes


    lotion


    baby wipes


    a crib


    carseat


    stroller


    rattle


    pacifier


    if its cold out, hat/gloves


    socks


    bibs


    baby toys


    baby food


    formula


    bottle cleaners


    extra tops to the bottles


    high chair


    wash cloth


    thermomater


    baby medicine


    juice
    bottles


    milk


    babygrow


    vests


    blanket


    moses basket/ crib


    hat


    baby bath


    shampoo


    towels


    pram


    car seat


    steriliser


    bouncer


    nappies


    wipes


    changing mat





    xxx
    go to babies r us .com and go to registry; they have a list of suggestions...u can get your answers there, i have better things to do than your homework...sheesh

    Can we do a step-parent adoption by ourselves in the state of Texas? How easy is it to do?

    My husband and I just got married, and I have a daughter from a previous relationship. Was wondering if it is a relatively easy process to get a step parent adoption going without the help of an attorney? Does any one have some useful links or a step by step guide on how to handle it?Can we do a step-parent adoption by ourselves in the state of Texas? How easy is it to do?
    Hey! I'm going through pretty much the same thing you are, only my childrens bio hasn't signed over his rights yet. I've been doing research on the internet for awhile now trying to get information. I found a couple links that might be useful to you. Like you, I'm new to this (my husband and I got married almost a year ago) so I hope this helps some. Good luck %26amp; congrads on the new family!!!





    http://www.rapidlaw.net/adoption.html?OV鈥?/a>


    http://www.childadoptionlaws.com/child_a鈥?/a>


    http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_step.鈥?/a>Can we do a step-parent adoption by ourselves in the state of Texas? How easy is it to do?
    not sure about Texas, but some states require you to be married a year or two before step parent adoption (to make sure the marraige will work) Most all adoptions require a lawyer or agency and a court room. some states require an adoption homestudy even for step parent adoptions. (background check, references, interviews). To make sure he's not a child molester or abuser. The bio fathers rights have to be terminated. First, go to a lawyer to inqure the process.
    Please give it a while don't pull your daughter into this until you are sure hes not going to change on you .. i know people who greatly regret having had their child adopted by their now ex- sometimes things are better left alone ....


    And by no means do iut under diress or under threats ....


    you would need to prove that the real father of this child has abandonded her had no contact for at least 1 year prior to taking it to court but this still is step i would not ever consider...





    it could keep her clear of future procedings considering 1/2 of all American marriages end in divorce ...I magine the chlid having to split her time between you and him when hes of no blood relation ...

    Is alcohol addiction of a parent a reason for child services to intervene?

    Like excessive. We're talking like multiple bottles of southern comfort a day. The parent hasn't been to work because of this. And in and out of rehab for it?





    Like, let's say that there are arguments going on in the home without physical abuse.Is alcohol addiction of a parent a reason for child services to intervene?
    You bet especially if it jeopardizes the child's welfareIs alcohol addiction of a parent a reason for child services to intervene?
    That definitely is a reason for child services to intervene, especially if the parent is neglecting the child. However, if the parent can reform him/herself, I think that would be much more in the child's interest than taking him away from the parents. Why should the child have to suffer because the parent is irresponsible? I think that the family should have an intervention and send that parent to rehab, where he can reform in a temptation-free, professionally-controlled environment. It would be terrible if the poor child had to be taken away from the parent and put through that if the parent had the capacity to reform.
    you can find your answer in sources
  • dermalogica
  • What are the chances of a child sharing the same birthday as a parent?

    My daughter has the same birthday as I. She came 2 weeks early. All natural, no C-section, no labor inducing drugs. Take into consideration menstrual cycle, day of conception and gestation time. I know that every child has 2 parents and the easy answer would be 1:183 but that is not the right answer. Put some thought and mathmatics into it.





    Thanks for your time and efforts.What are the chances of a child sharing the same birthday as a parent?
    i dont know. but my stepdad and his sister share the same birthday 4 years apart. they were even born in the same hour.What are the chances of a child sharing the same birthday as a parent?
    I have a friend who has the same birthday as her mom and her oldest son.
    1 in 365.
    There are a lot of other factors, not just mathmatical, that come into play. A due date is merely an estimate, based upon the menstrual cycle, and doesn't clearly indicate that ovulation took place exactly 2 weeks past the first day of the last period. It can generally be 2 weeks before or after the due date and is considered a full term pregnancy. With all of the hormonal and physiological changes in both the mother and baby, really it's a wonder that there can even be a due date.
    It actually is 1 in 365.





    I have a feeling you're think of the ';birthday paradox';, which says if there are 23 people in a room, the chances are 50% that at least two of them share a birthday, and if 60 are in a room, there's a 99% probability that two people share a birthday.





    But you're not talking about the birthday paradox. You're specifying the date (your birthday), AND the other person (your daughter).





    The equation is thus: 1- {([365-1]/365) raised to the exponent of ';n';}, which is the number of other people to whom you are comparing birthdays. In this case, 1 (your daughter).





    So, the equation becomes 1-{(364/365) raised to 1}


    Which is, of course the same as 1-(364/365).


    Easily change 1 to 365/365...subtract 364/365 from that...you get 1/365.





    Does that help?
    conception and gestation time are not exact science, they are more like educated guesses, so that really doesnt help.
    1 in 365, leap year changes that but close enough.

    How can I persuade my parent to let me go to the cinema with my friends?

    My parent are really strict. They say it's no safe to go out and etc. All my friends are going out. It's very hard to persuade them.How can I persuade my parent to let me go to the cinema with my friends?
    Same here but saying what your saying your age is probably 11-13 which is too young.With all the danger out there now.How about ask your parents to come with you but go in a different movie.Thats the only way its gonna work without waiting 5 years.How can I persuade my parent to let me go to the cinema with my friends?
    Tell them you won't be alone, you'll keep a cell phone on you at all times (maybe you can even promise to call them a couple times, if you're willing to be really flexible), and that it's a safe neighborhood, safe theater, and going out into the world is something everyone has to do and you might as well start now when you're young.





    I don't know how safe your neighborhood is and how close your friends are to you, but it would help if they were safe/close, especially if your parents realize it (even if they won't admit it).

    What rights does a step parent have to the step child?

    I am considering leaving my husband. He has full custody of his two children ( their mother is no where to be found). These children think of me as their mother. I know if I leave they will not be taken care of and will end up split up or that the state may take them. I am worried about them. What are my options?What rights does a step parent have to the step child?
    If you adopt them before the divorce, you will be the legal mother and entitled to custody. This is your best option.What rights does a step parent have to the step child?
    The only rights that a step parent has in what the child gives them. It would be almost impossible for you to get custody if your husband wanted it. How long that you have had the children and their ages would be a big factor. You give very little information. The state will not take them if you are willing to care for them. If there is a place where they want to be and are wanted there, the judge will put them there. The state also looks at the money it saves them. Good Luck, I admire you for wanting to raise some one else's children.
    Legally adopt the kids before you get a divorce. That's the only way you'll have parental rights. Otherwise - if the kids end up in foster care, blood relatives will have first dibs on them. If you don't have to fight anyone, you might be able to get custody depending on how old the kids are - if they're old enough (roughly age 12 and up), they can ask the judge to be placed in your care.
    None. Unless you legally adopted them, you have no rights to keep them at all. Even if you turned him in for child abuse or some other such claim they wouldn't give the children to you unless you became a certified foster parent.
    I think you can get a lawyer and possibly get some rights. But its unlikely you will get custody since your not a biological parent.
    gotta go to court and prove him as unfit. if there is no biological link between you and the kids it may be very hard. get a good lawyer. good luck

    Have you ever seen a parent use inappropriate or accidental actions to train their kids?

    Most parents don't always realize that they are accidentally rewarding behaviors they don't want, or punishing behaviors that they do want. As a result, parents are often struggling with problem behaviors in their children that they accidentally created. Have you ever seen ways that, by accidental or inappropriate reinforcement or punishment, parents ';train'; their children to have problem behaviors, maybe if people shared their experience other parents would be more apt not to do it.Have you ever seen a parent use inappropriate or accidental actions to train their kids?
    I was in a grocery store, and this 14 year old wanted some kind of snack, while her mother was waiting in line, and told her daughter no, so the daughter looked at her and said I will throw a fit if you don't get them for me, and the mother said no, so the daughter started screaming like a three year old would, and the mother said ok, ok. I'll get them. I hate when parents give in, I would of just stood their and purchased my stuff, and let her throw a fit, I know its embarrassing, but this girl has learned if she throws a fit, she gets what she wants, and you see this a lot with parents.Have you ever seen a parent use inappropriate or accidental actions to train their kids?
    You dont train kids you teach them. THEY ARE NOT PETS!!!!

    Can you drive with a parent in a different state than the one you got the permit in?

    I am in a different state visiting relatives and want to drive with my parents, grandparents in this state but don't know if the rules for my permit in the state I got it in are still ok here. In my home state, it says that you can drive your parents, a non family member over 25 with written permission and a family member over 21. Help please! Thanks.Can you drive with a parent in a different state than the one you got the permit in?
    it depends on what state you live in and what state you are going to visit. Check the DMV or equivalent websites for both states, or even call the DMVs to find out.Can you drive with a parent in a different state than the one you got the permit in?
    If I remember right, my state's learner's permit is not recognized by other states as entitlement to drive there, regardless of who's in the car with you. Check your state's laws before you take the risk of a ticket before you're even licensed, okay?
    Yes, same as with a license.
    i believe that you can go about anywhere with your parents with the permit but if your with anybody besides your parents (adult) you have to have some sort of note.
    really you just need somneone over 21 with a lic and you can drive anywhere you want to go i drove 1000 mile two days after i got mine
    no

    How do you tell a parent your pregnant?

    Hi, Im sixteen and I might be pregnant. How do you tell a parent that you think you might be? My mother who not doing so good is at bed rest(lung cancer) and my father who I don't seem to get alone with to well. I haven't told no one but my boyfriend and i don't think its healthy to do. Im scared but ready to get things off my chest.


    Thanks for taking time out to read this.How do you tell a parent your pregnant?
    It's a tough thing, but your parents can surprise you. The best thing would be to tell them you need them to sit down and you have something to tell them. 9 times out of 10 they will guess it right then and there. If you are ready, just get it off your chest and do it sooner rather than later. You will feel better after you do - that is for sure. Also, give them time to change their reaction after it sinks in for a few days. Most of the time a bad first reaction will later turn to excitement. Just don't go by their first reaction if it is bad. Be patient and don't do anything rash. Good luck and just do it.How do you tell a parent your pregnant?
    talk to who you normally talk too, if u think your mam could get really worried about it i think you should wait until you know for sure. thats what i did, and my mam was over the moon! i was scared outta my wits about telling her but parents do surprise you!
    I would wait until you know for sure that you are, and then just come out and tell them if you find out that you are.
  • dermalogica
  • What can a non custodial parent claim on taxes?

    I have custody of my son and my son's father sees him only twice a month. I have always claimed my son's EIC every year. This year my son's father called and got his social security number. I had already claimed my son for the year. He says there is another way for him to claim a dependent. Is this true?What can a non custodial parent claim on taxes?
    You can't both claim him.





    Who can claim the child tax credit and dependent care credit?





    The parent who claims the exemption for the child is the only parent who can claim the child tax credit. If you are the custodial parent, you can claim the dependent care credit for the child even if you can鈥檛 claim the child鈥檚 exemption. If you are the non-custodial parent, you can鈥檛 claim the dependent care credit even if you can claim the child鈥檚 exemption.





    Who gets the dependency exemption for the children?





    If both parents contribute at least 陆 of the child鈥檚 living expenses, the custodial parent claims the child as a dependent. If custody hasn鈥檛 been determined or one parent pays the majority of the living expenses for a child and has physical custody for the majority of the year that parent may claim the child as a dependent.





    If you are the non-custodial parent and are given the right to claim the child as a dependent you must also fill out a form 8332 from the IRS. This form must be signed by the custodial parent and attached to your income tax return before the IRS will recognize your right to claim the child.What can a non custodial parent claim on taxes?
    Looks like your ex got you just like mine got me. And they get away with it. Jennifer
    A dependent can only be claimed on one tax return, there is no legal way around that. It sounds like he is going to cause tax trouble for you. I suggest looking up IRS Publication 501 and 503 for full information about who can claim your son as a dependent so you will be prepared if you get a letter from the IRS asking you to prove you are entitled to the exemption.
    Yes there is, but from what you say, it probably doesn't apply to him. If there's a court order saying that he can claim him, then he can if the order meets all the IRS rules. Or if you signed WRITTEN permission for him to claim him, then he can. Otherwise not. Don't lose sleep over this one. You might end up with some extra paperwork to do if he submits a return claiming him, but you'll be OK - the IRS might send you a letter asking you to prove your claim - since he's in your custody, is pretty straightforward.
    Nope...unless it was stated in your divorce papers that his father gets to claim him (usually it's every other year) then he CAN NOT claim him. If you both claim him, one of you is going to end up having to repay any refund you got. Also, if your ex pays child support %26amp; then gets to claim your son %26amp; get EIC he basically gets back everything he paid in to you. I had it fixed in mine that I was the only one who could claim my son. You should call a tax pro ASAP %26amp; see what you can do.
    No, the only way he can claim him is if he has had taken care of him for more than half the year. Or if he has had for 6months only then he can claim half year. But he cannot claim him at all if he has only seen him and not actually cared for him and gfeed and clothed him. Where does the kid live for 50% of the year? If he has lived with you then you are the soul claimer, not your son's father.
    you and the person who claimed the dependant will receive a letter stating that 2 people used the dependants social security number, They will ask that both partys submit proof of who was actually eligible to claim the dependant. This can include school records, Dr records, copy of a lease agreement acknowledging that the child lives at the address of record.


    The IRS will make a determination of who actually qualifies to claim the dependant. The person who claimed the dependant will then owe back any refund they received in error plus interest and penalties. This also raise a red flag on that persons future tax returns for up to the next 10 years.


    Calll the IRS at 1-800-829-1040


    Respond to any correspondence from the IRS immediately to expedite your claim.


    This will cause a delay in processing your return and your refund
    no