Saturday, August 21, 2010

What are some suggestions for getting over the loss of a parent?

It has been three years and I am still grieving and I feel such guilt and sadness that I sometimes or rather often feel no hope. My medication helps me not to cry so much, but sometimes I feel so sad and all alone even when I am around people who love me. I feel sad when they leave even. I don't know what to do to make this end. I guess the worst part is not remembering everything my father said and not asking him enough questions. That is my biggest regret and that is the part of the guilt that I can not get over. I lived with him until he died and I took care of him as best I could. Yet I feel like I am the only person that really grieves for him. I don't know what to do. I see a good therapist even and I wonder when I am going to freak out again.What are some suggestions for getting over the loss of a parent?
Hi, i'm sorry for your loss. I have been there too and i know how hard it is.





I guess its all about acceptance. When we lose someone our life changes for ever. We have to accept that. Your life will never be the same as it was when you had your father.





The pain you are feeling must be very intense - but, the reason it is so intense, is that you and your father were very close. I lost my father too and i was very close to him. I find things very hard - but i wouldn't have it any other way - if i wasn't as upset as i am, then it would mean that we didn't have the wonderful relationship we did.





Time will slowly, slowly, makes things easier, but as i said, your life has changed forever.





Take time to remember your father in special ways. Perhaps you could name a star after him. Visit his resting place. Have photos framed. Raise money for his favorite charity. He is still very much alive in your heart and will always be. Do not think that because he is not here, that is the end of him - that is not the case. Your father will live on in you. You are a part of him and through you he lives on.





Take care.





Oh and keep seeing the therapist - support is good to have at this time. xWhat are some suggestions for getting over the loss of a parent?
Continue therapy. Make sure you get to talk specifically about your grief issues.


Developing a relationship with God would help. Nobody wants to see a loved one die. If they live to be 100 we still say it was too soon when they depart. However, those of us who know Jesus as the ressurection and the life do not mourn as those who have no hope. We accept death as a natural transition. In fact, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, to us. We miss our loved ones, but we can continue with life after mourning because we know there will be a reunion in heaven. I hope you'll come to know the peace that this kind of relationship can bring.


I offer Christ to you.


In the meantime, nobody can remember all of what anybody said at any time. I don't think your father expected you to remember everything he said. One thing you should try to remember is that he wouldn't want you to spend your life blaming his death for being unable to cope with the world. He probably would consider that a huge waste of the life he helped bring into the world.


Consider that.
First suggestion,STOP going to a therapist,they are only there for the money,they do absolutely no good. Think of all the good times you had with him...conversations,family trips,holidays. I lost my great grandmother and grandfather within 6 months of each other,it's hard,but,as time passes the thought of them passing will fade. Try not to think of the bad times,and the passing,it only makes the depression worse.
i don't think you ever really get over the death of a parent. I lost my dad (step dad..but never treated us kids like a step parent) back in 84, i was pregnant and had three other kids, perhaps that's why i didn't react the way one would think one should with a death. My mom died three years ago, and it is such a different feeling... EVEN though my dad raised me.. BUT.. i didn't cry any more tears after leaving the hospital the night she died, i was the one taking care of all the details and taking care of all the family.... and i haven't cried since. i feel that ... if i couldn't cry over something as traumatic as losing my mother, i have no right to cry over anything else! and while she lived with us when she was ill, she LOVED watching cooking shows, and i wouldn't sit and watch with her... now, if a cooking show comes on.. i change the channel. (couldn't watch with her..shouldn't watch without her) crazy hu?


wow...a little therapy there... sorry i didn't answer any of your concerns. all you can do is remember what your father told you and all the good times and make your life better from what you learned from him. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to sit around and be sad all of the time.... chin up..... and good luck!
Find some books to read. I found excercise really helped me. Find something you enjoy. Maybe volunteer. If you stay stuck in this sadness, you will waste your life away. YOur father wouldn't have wanted that I am sure. I lost my father 14 years ago. It still hurts. But I can't lose out on my life. I will be with him again one day. A church may also be helpful.
Your continuing problems may be related to several things, but it will get better. You have to come to terms with what happened and allow yourself to move on with his memory.





I lost my dad suddenly when I was 17. I look back on that day and can recall every detail. I also remember having the same fear - that I would forget him. You will not remember every detail, but you will recall those that matter most and that shaped you into who you are today. I still remember his laugh, the way he smells, and the things he would say. My personality reminds my family of him in many ways.





You need to understand that the past has passed and that there is NOTHING you can do to change it. You did a commendable thing by staying with him through his illness. Most people lack that strength. Look back on your time with him as a gift and trust that his impact on you was positive.





Tears will not bring him back, but it's perfectly fine to cry, even to freak out. Did you delay the grieving process? Did you try not to cry for a long time after he died? That could be the reason for your prolonged grief.





I think about my dad daily. I wish he was still around, but he's not. This is my time, and it is also yours. I'm not sure what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, but perhaps you can find solace there.

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